What’s Left after a BBQ of My Life

For those of you who have been following my journey over the last six months you may know that I have been going through much change. I have been unemployed since January but God has been the author of my mess and I am okay with that.  I have friends who have been in similar circumstances and have been brought down completely.  Oddly,  I have grown and been strengthened probably the most in my entire life. 

About a year ago I knew spiritually I was starving and pretty close to spiritual death.  I look back and say I was in an extended  desert experience.  From living it I can tell you buying desert property and living on it wothout a water source SUCKS! I started to pray that God would break in and renew my spiritual life. I prayed that he would do to me what he would but… please don’t take my job. That was probably not the best thing to do. Never limit God (lesson learned). Well I think he knew my identity was based on what I I did and was able to do. I walked away from my job just before Christmas.  I was at a place where I was burnt out and needing a change. I figured I had a about two months before I would start to panic.  About the time I was starting to panic a supernatural break through hit. With no income coming in and living on savings I was able to pay off my mortgage and figure away to continue without money coming in.

In January, God started working on me on my identity. I’m not going to go in depth about it, you can go back and read tye blog to see my journey.

So onto the BBQ of me.

My personal theology has been stripped!  I told God to shake my foundation and take away anything that was not of Him.

Whatvis left;

1 He is God and I am not
2 He likes mankind and he really likes me
3 Salvation,  Grace, Hope, Fullness are free gifts from God
4 I can do nothing on my own to attain acquire anything in #3

That is all for now


About Ben Kilen

I am a average guy father of 4. I don't claim any super powers or amazing talents. I do have a double jointed thumb and I have always hoped it would bring me wealth and fame but so far it hasn't. I am an eclectic music lover as long and by music current day main stream rap does not qualify as music. Anything that has one to two sentences hammered over and over with no melody or excessive auto tune does not qualify.

6 responses to “What’s Left after a BBQ of My Life”

  1. Prodigal Chick says :

    Thank you for this. I have been on the same journey. I said lord take my life and do something good with it. Within 24 hours I was in the fiery furnace. He took my life and stripped it bare. My life was unrecognizable and out of my control. I too learned he is god and I am not. He controls my life and Ido not. He loves me far greater than I love myself. He is taking my life and doing something with it and in a way and a direction that I never even thought of or thought possible. To me my life has been an utter mess from destruction for 2 years but to god it is a masterpiece of art. He has carried me day by day through the vast wilderness and vallies and set me up on top of the mountain. He took my life and is now doing something good with it. He is god and I am his.

    • Ben Kilen says :

      Smiling as I read your reply. Been there, done that, had the rug pulled out from beneath me too.

      Nice to hear from you, hadn’t seen you on here

      • Prodigal Chick says :

        I have been raising Cain in the judicial system so I haven’t had much time to blog. But I do take time to read all my favy bloggers, it is how I draw strength and courage. Especially your posts, they keep me steady and grounded. The most powerful spiritual words ever….he is god and I am not….oh man does that carry me through!!! Thank you so much for sharing your revelations!!! It is wonderful to be in touch with you again!!

  2. melwild says :

    Good stuff, Ben. Yup, God likes a good BBQ. Might as well enjoy it. 🙂

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